A couple of years ago, I went to a new hairdresser. My hair is thick, and it has become curlier and more unruly as I’ve aged. I sat down in the hairdresser’s chair, and we engaged in some casual chit-chat as she started to clip into my hair. She had such a light touch, I couldn’t believe that she making much of a dent. Her hands moved elegantly around my head – with no small sense of irony, it was as if she was waving a magician’s wand. After about 20 minutes, she was finished. And I was stunned to see the best haircut I’ve ever had – and a major transformation.
My experience with Elizabeth’s coaching has been similar – with just some friendly banter and a wave of her magic wand, she has guided me to make significant positive changes. Like my hairdresser, Elizabeth’s approach to coaching is light and deceptively simple – each time I entered the virtual meeting space, she would invite me to meditate or engage in some breathing exercises for a few minutes. Then, with her calm and open demeanour, she would ask me to present a couple of specific challenges that I wanted to discuss during the session. But this was no ordinary conversation – by asking some clarifying questions or suggesting prompts for reflection, Elizabeth was able to effectively lead me to breakthroughs I never could have imagined. Of course, like my hairdresser, Elizabeth has developed this “effortless” skill after years of diligent training, study, and practical experience working with people.
In my academic career, a great deal of my work focuses on conducting qualitative interviews and analysing conversations in everyday life. Being able to do this work requires a specific methodological approach and reflexivity about the process (i.e., the interviewer reflecting on how they could inadvertently be affecting the interview situation). I know that this is also part of Elizabeth’s training as an anthropologist. But the coaching experience is much different from a qualitative interview – or from psychological therapy. I wasn’t there to get to the root cause of my problems and change my behaviour. Rather, the ambition of Elizabeth’s coaching was to help me zero in on a specific issue and – by applying an embodied perspective – to feel the most appropriate solution. There is always a way forward, but what feels like the right path to take? How does my body react to Option A versus Option B or C?
During each coaching session, I had the space to explore these embodied responses and to discursively determine my own outcomes. Discourses are a way of describing, understanding, and building our social world and our place in it. With her grounding in Buddhist teachings, Elizabeth provided an environment of compassionate non-judgement where I felt safe to consider how I could best build new social worlds in order to optimise my life. Her coaching helped me to silence the deafening noise of my own anxiety and overthinking caused by a multitude of choices – instead, Elizabeth guided me to focus on being present in the moment in order to feel what would be the best choice for me now. And, sometimes, that choice was to actively rest and do ‘nothing’.
A fundamental core of Elizabeth’s coaching is to listen WITH the coachee and not simply TO them. This means that she is able to hone in on what matters most to that person and, in this process, she considers their history of lived experience as well as their present priorities, values, and goals. The end of each coaching session focused on what actions I planned to take next to achieve my desired outcomes – this enabled me to take control of situations where I felt trapped or powerless. Thus, by acknowledging and supporting my intrinsic motivation and individual priorities, Elizabeth helped me to feel empowered to make positive changes in my life. Radical transformation with a light touch. Effortless empowerment. Elizabeth’s coaching helped me to realise that I actually have all the solutions inside of me – I just need to take a breath, listen to my body, and feel what’s best.
Elizabeth Williams Ørberg 